11.10.99

Meagan called me to chat tonight. We had one of our famous epics. 51 minutes and it could've lasted through the night had "Jeopardy" not interrupted. Mostly it was reminiscient of last year, with joking and jabbing back and forth. I feel more mature now as I resist the urge to continually belittle her to protect my insecurity and affection. She has matured a little as well or perhaps she just followed my lead. Sometimes I wish a friend like Geoff could hear our conversations and then perhaps they would see her brilliance and beauty. She is so funny and smart--yet I love her differently than Christine--with more of a future. Sarah and I are now greeting and exchanging glances on a daily basis. I must approach her! I am gaining the confidence to talk to her but am lacking the experience. She melts me every day. Ashley is so naturally pretty it pierces my lonely eyes. Sarah must come! Do not desert me like I perceived Monica to, or like Meagan clearly did so many months ago. In reality I desert myself and girls just fall by the wayside.