1.19.00

I was going to take relief these pages in the stressful/sweaty/un-confident/sleepless period of exams but an event today could not go unrecorded. Sarah and Katie S. came to my basketball game at CI today. They were the ONLY SWC fans in attendance. It was odd to see them there, for I thought I had painfully left Sarah behind (through immature avoidance) and she had remorselessly accepted (through indifferent acceptance). In fairness, she and Katie did sit with Sasha, Candice, and other apparent acquaintances. And where was she yesterday in our game against Grimsby?! No announcement was made about yesterday's game, but today's game was broadcast. Maybe that's it. Or simply, she was with friends from CI who were going to watch the game, and they coincidentally ventured. In my high dialogue I convinced myself Sarah was giving me a message that all was not lost between us. Certainly something small-growing is renewed in me. "Burn, Scott M., for your torture--unclean." After the game she and Katie lingered and I passed them out the doorway of the gym. Sarah uttered "good game Gor--I mean Geordie." You'd think if she loved me she'd know how to pronounce my name!? After countless practice and repentance. Oh well, the experience could not be marred. Like Simcoe, only I could not find a viable ulterior motive for this appearance this time. Occasional fans? Constant heartbreak. Katie grabbed my arm (bicep) saying, "Really good game." Krystina also did that today. I cockily took pride in my muscles. Though I would trade anything for her again. Oh dear, where is this going? Can't it, will it, should it, do I or does she want it to--end?